Speaking to Our Kids About Sex

By Kevin Wolfe,

I love God's Word!  I love that as we teach verse by verse that we come to challenges topics.  I love that these challenging topics are so good for our soul.  This past weekend, Pastor Jason taught on Hebrews 13:4-5 painting a high view of marriage and a high view of His wonderful design of sexuality.  This topic presented a great opportunity to drill down deeper into my two older boys lives (ages 13 and 11) to have some great dialog....thank you Jason!!!

I wanted to share with you a rough outline of the conversation to encourage your hearts in how to talk to your children and encourage you to do the same.  The conversation was awkward at times, it was met by silence, and we were even distracted by NASCAR in the background of the restaurant.  However, I believe many conversations like this over the years will be well worth it!

Point One:  We are all made by God as sexual beings.  We can not deny this.  Therefore, as a result we will be curious, we will have desires, we will have pulls.  My goal was to normalize the desires that God has given us so that the door will be open for years to come and that realize these desires are even good and we need to talk about them.  Having desires, curiousity, and wondering about things is not bad, it is normal.  God made us sexual and God's design is beautiful and we can't ever improve by it.  I want them to see that God's highest standard in sexuality will be there greatest joy, not be afraid of it but look to Him and His design!

Point Two:  Everything God makes wonderful and beautiful (like sexuality), Satan will distort and pervert.  We talked through what are perversions to God's design.  We spoke about that natural curiosity that we have because we are sexual beings will be used by the evil one to draw us towards his perversion.  Therefore, we need to be on guard.  Satan will typically offer us the easy way out to try to fulfill our desires, yet this will never satisfy us in the way God made us for.  We want to follow His design.  We spoke about the foolishness of getting as close to the line as possible and why would we want to play with fire.  If we have desires, we don't want to get close to line because we can easily be pulled over the line.  Bottom line, stay as far away from the line as possible as we wait for God's best!  We spoke about the importance of learning about sex from God and His design, not from the world, TV, friends, etc.

Point Three:  How do we wait for God's best?  We spoke about our need for each other to help when we are tempted.  Satan wants to isolate, God wants us to help each other.  We committed to talking about things together, we would be open when struggling knowing we will all struggle at different times, and if and when we sin, that we would confess to each other and get help from others.  We spoke about Satan's plan to not only tempt us to sin but then when we do to isolate and feel guilty.  Answer - run to Jesus and run to each other.  Timothy says "flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness with those who call upon the Lord with a pure heart."

I hope this helps in getting you thinking about having conversations with your kids.  If we are not informing them with a Biblical worldview - I guarantee someone will be informing them with a view.  Let's love and shepherd our children and help them navigate these wonderful but shark infested waters!

Pastor Kevin